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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27997716">One big, crazy, dysfunctional family</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfInTheShadows/pseuds/WolfInTheShadows'>WolfInTheShadows</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Mass Effect Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Humor, Sorry Not Sorry, but it's believable, chakwas/hackett, don't know where this came from, it's not really there, maybe don't know, maybe even cracky, not beta-ed like almost all my other stories, probably totally ooc</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:00:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,363</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27997716</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfInTheShadows/pseuds/WolfInTheShadows</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard has to deal with the Admirals Anderson and Hackett finding out she's been breaking regulations and fraternizes with one of her crew.<br/>And maybe the Reapers aren't such a big deal anymore compared with the wrath of one Doctor Chakwas, mama bear extraordinaire.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female Shepard/Samantha Traynor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>One big, crazy, dysfunctional family</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This story came to me when my body thought it fun to let the world spin around me even as I was lying down. It cooked itself between the realms of sleep and waking. And then it wanted to be shared with the broader public. Everything in this I fully blame on me being a bit loopy. <br/>It's probably totally OOC for Hackett but I don't even care. I like Grandpa Hackett. Fight me, if you don't agree! :D Sorry. <br/>It's my first ME story and well... I'm just waiting for the Remaster. ;)<br/>And now I can finally go back to my other story. </p>
<p>In any event, have fun and tell me what you think.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Shepard. There's one more thing I need to talk to you about."</p>
<p>"Sir?" She didn't know what Anderson could possibly want.</p>
<p>"Scuttlebutt has reached me that you participate in a bit of fraternization."</p>
<p>Shepard shifted her weight. "And?" Anderson's tone had been neutral. And he wasn't one to believe every rumor that floated around.</p>
<p>"Is there any truth to it? I mean, I couldn't care less right now about what you get up to. I just want to make sure it doesn't interfere with your mission."</p>
<p>"It won't, sir."</p>
<p>"Glad to hear it." Anderson fixed her with a stare. For a moment, Shepard wished herself back to a time when communication was done just over audio and not with holograms. "Speak freely, Shepard, is it someone I know?"</p>
<p>She thought about it for a moment. "Maybe."</p>
<p>"Has someone broken the great Commander Shepard? I haven't seen you smile like that since before Torfan. Now I <em>need</em> to know."</p>
<p>Shepard looked at the holo of the man before her. The only person that was some kind of father figure to her through it all. And he didn't seem inclined to bring up charges against her. Maybe it would be good to tell him. "Samantha Traynor."</p>
<p>"The Communications Specialist from Alliance R&amp;D? I never really talked to her during the retrofits. Though as I recall she seemed awfully competent."</p>
<p>"She is."</p>
<p>"Hmm. If she makes you happy."</p>
<p>"She does. And I promise it won't interfere with the mission."</p>
<p>"That's good to hear. If we make it out of this, I'd like you to introduce me to her. Meet her properly and such."</p>
<p>The corner of Shepard's mouth lifted a little. "You got a deal."</p>
<p>Anderson nodded. "Just one thing…" He hesitated and became serious again. "When word made it to me on Earth, Hackett can't be far behind."</p>
<p>"Don't worry, sir, I'll deal with Hackett when it happens." Shepard nodded.</p>
<p>"Alright. Be careful, Shepard. Anderson out."</p>
<p>"You, too, sir."</p>
<p>The connection closed and Shepard heaved a sigh. She really didn't want to have that conversation with Hackett.</p>
<p>Just as she turned around to go back to whatever it was, she was doing before, Sam's voice rang out over comms. "Commander, Admiral Hackett is available on vid comm."</p>
<p>"Why-y-y-y?" Shepard threw back her head and actually whined. This was not fair. She had hoped Hackett would call later. Preferably after she'd had a stiff drink.</p>
<p>"Because he wants to talk to you?" Concern clearly tinged Sam's tone.</p>
<p>"Sorry. No. I just know what this is about. And I so don't want to have this talk."</p>
<p>"Shall I… lose the call?"</p>
<p>"While I appreciate the offer, no, it's alright. I'll take it."</p>
<p>She turned around again to where the QEC console was blinking. Straightening up, she sighed again and finally hit the Accept button. The Admiral promptly shimmered into existence in front of her.</p>
<p>"Shepard."</p>
<p>"Admiral." She saluted properly, one and a half decades of military life had ingrained it into her. He quickly saluted back before launching into the heart of the problem.</p>
<p>"Shepard, I've heard a troubling thing concerning your conduct. That you're breaking regulations."</p>
<p>"Sir. Permission to speak freely?"</p>
<p>"Granted."</p>
<p>"Is this an official call or are you just looking out for my wellbeing?"</p>
<p>"A bit of both, I suppose. We need you at your best. And I'll not interfere if whatever it is your doing will make that possible."</p>
<p>"Sir?" Shepard had a suspicion that there was more to what Hackett was saying. Usually, he was very by the book and professional. "Where is this coming from?"</p>
<p>He cleared his throat. "Doctor Chakwas might have called me recently and bored down on me about how I should not ride you so hard and cut you some slack. How you are saving the galaxy almost single-handedly and that would deserve some down-time. And other things at an ever-increasing volume. She made… quite an impression."</p>
<p>"Ah. Yes, she can be… severe when she feels her patients are not treated well." She would really have to have a talk with the Doctor about how she was a big girl and could take care of herself. "I'll talk to her."</p>
<p>"Don't you dare. She was the only one in a long while to actually remind me about the reason and goal for fighting this war. That we are nothing if we lose our humanity to the cause."</p>
<p>"Still. Anyway, what is it you want to know, really?"</p>
<p>"Are you fraternizing with one of your crew, Commander?" His voice got hard again.</p>
<p>Shepard shifted her weight again. This was it. Admitting it could have dire consequences. But her gut said to trust Hackett not to strip her of everything on the spot. Maybe after the war had been won, but she couldn't care less about that now. And if they didn't win… well, then nothing mattered anyway. "Yes."</p>
<p>"But?"</p>
<p>"No but, sir." Her back was ramrod straight as she awaited his verdict. He looked pensive, like he was mulling over something in his mind.</p>
<p>"It's your Comms Specialist, is it not?"</p>
<p>"How do you know?" Shepard was slightly taken aback.</p>
<p>"Your request to have her security clearance elevated crossed my desk recently. It was an educated guess on my part, to be honest."</p>
<p>"That had no personal reason behind it. Mostly, actually. The reason behind that was two-fold actually. The official reason I gave is still true. She coordinates most of our mission and diplomatic communications. I can't have her not being able to do her job just because someone decides she doesn't have a high enough security clearance. She is the best at this."</p>
<p>"I never doubted your reasoning. It might not have mattered to you before but that it does now shows how much you care. What was the unofficial reason, Commander?"</p>
<p>"I needed someone to talk to." Shepard shrugged. "She is good with data and sees things I might overlook. I needed someone I could trust to call me out on my bullshit occasionally. Someone that doesn't view the world down the barrel of a gun. And I didn't want to get her into trouble by telling her mission details and such without her having clearance."</p>
<p>"Again, it shows that you care about her. She seems to be good for you."</p>
<p>"She grounds me. I'm not the best person to deal with politicians and dignitaries. The business with Victus was not nice. I was ready to shoot him for being… obtuse, to say the least. I told her as much and you know how she brought me down? She told me that the metallic particles in turian physiology would interfere with communications if I shot him in the war room and she'd just got it set up right. It was just the right amount of absurd for the situation that it got me to crack up a bit."</p>
<p>"Humanity, Shepard. The reason we all are fighting this war. You might have found it in her. I cannot condone your actions, but I will not bring anything forward against you either. It does actually seem to benefit the war effort. And for God's sake… we are at war with a force greater than any of us. We might die tomorrow. Anything that will give us an edge is welcome… Even if it isn't strictly in line with regulations."</p>
<p>"Understood, sir."</p>
<p>"Just send me an invite to the wedding, will you?" Hackett grinned. It was something that struck fear into the Commander. And not much could do that.</p>
<p>"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, sir, first we win this damn war and send the Reapers back to whatever hole they crawled from."</p>
<p>"Five by five, Commander." Hackett nodded seriously. "Anything else you need?"</p>
<p>Shepard bit her lip indecisive. It would be stepping into a minefield, but she had already belly flopped into one today and got out alive. "Serrice Ice Brandy, sir."</p>
<p>"I beg your pardon?"</p>
<p>"Just letting you know that our good doctor has a fondness for Serrice Ice Brandy. What you do with that information is up to you, sir."</p>
<p>Hackett nodded kindly. "Alright. Hackett out."</p>
<p>The holo disappeared and left Shepard standing in the darkened room. She drew a deep breath and slowly released it. She needed a drink. And she knew just the person to get one from.</p>
<p>Shepard confidently strode into the Med Bay and went straight for Doctor Chakwas' desk. Pulling open the bottom drawer, she found what she expected. A half-full bottle of brandy and two glasses. Putting one glass onto the desktop, she grabbed the bottle and unscrewed the top. Pouring herself a measure, she noticed Doctor Chakwas looking at her with raised brows.</p>
<p>"What's the occasion, Commander?" Chakwas questioned with a bemused expression.</p>
<p>"Oh, you know…" Shepard put the bottle back into the drawer and closed it with her foot before leaning against the desk with the glass in her hand. "Just got off two very interesting calls with Anderson and Hackett."</p>
<p>"The Reapers are misunderstood and are just doing ballet?" Chakwas sat in her chair. Shepard pushed off the desk and sat on top of one of the beds.</p>
<p>"No. A bit more personal than that. Less Reaper-oriented but still as terrifying."</p>
<p>"Oh, do tell." Chakwas rummaged in her drawer now to get herself a drink.</p>
<p>"Oh no. You first, doctor. I heard you yelled at Admiral Hackett on my behalf. Care to explain that one?" Shepard asked innocently over the rim of her glass.</p>
<p>"I just-" Shepard stopped her right there with a raised brow. "Well, someone needed to. He was having you run around the galaxy after Cerberus on top of you already having to carry the galaxy on your shoulders. And it's not as if you're the only soldier in this galaxy. You're just the best."</p>
<p>"Yeah. Thanks for the vote of confidence. But that's not the point." Shepard put down her glass beside her and grinned mischievously. "You left quite the impression on the poor Admiral."</p>
<p>"Oh dear…" Chakwas drowned the rest of her glass and poured herself another. "I think I need a new bottle soon."</p>
<p>"I wouldn't worry about that." Shepard smirked.</p>
<p>"What did you do?" Chakwas looked mortified.</p>
<p>"Nothing. I just might've mentioned your fondness for Serrice Ice Brandy to Hackett, is all."</p>
<p>"Shepard! I do not need you trying to set me up."</p>
<p>"Well, you always said your true love is the Alliance and Hackett practically <em>is</em> the Alliance, so…" Shepard raised her hands defensively. "All I'm saying is, when this is all over, maybe you could give him a chance."</p>
<p>"Stop it, Shepard, or I'll tell him about your breach in regs." Chakwas' threat was answered with an amused snort by the Commander.</p>
<p>"No need. He knows. Anderson too. As I said, terrifying personal calls."</p>
<p>"So, we're fugitives from the Alliance again?" The doctor joked.</p>
<p>"No. Actually, Hackett asked to be invited to the wedding. And Anderson wants me to introduce Sam to him properly when this is all over."</p>
<p>"How… uncharacteristic."</p>
<p>"Yeah. Maybe this is all a dream and I'll wake up soon. Speaking of, since you insisted on going all mama bear on Hackett, do you want me to introduce Sam to you properly, too?" Shepard joked light-hearted.</p>
<p>"It would be nice. I'd like to make sure my charge is in good hands." Chakwas smiled back kindly, her eyes crinkling with amusement.</p>
<p>"Alright." A chuckle escaped the Commander. She held up her right index finger. This would be fun. "EDI? Could you tell Specialist Traynor to come down to the Med Bay for a second?"</p>
<p>"Right away, Commander."</p>
<p>"Thank you, EDI."</p>
<p>Shepard desperately tried to get her face under control. It worked until Sam walked into the Med Bay.</p>
<p>Sam took one look at the doctor and the commander grinning like little children up to no good and crossed her arms. "Care to explain what's going on here?"</p>
<p>Sam had quickly learned that on the Normandy, rank didn't really matter, and only designated your paygrade. So, she had no qualms about calling out Major Chakwas and Commander-bloody-Shepard. Especially not, when both were currently having a giggling fit.</p>
<p>"I'm waiting." Her tone was warning of consequences and her brows rose sharply.</p>
<p>"Alright, alright." Shepard jumped down from the bed and walked over to Sam, grinning.</p>
<p>"I've got a very bad feeling about this." Sam muttered under her breath when Shepard stood behind her and put her hands on her shoulders, nudging her forward slightly.</p>
<p>"Doctor Chakwas, may I introduce you to Lieutenant Samantha Traynor, my girlfriend."</p>
<p>"Wait, what?" Sam voice almost squeaked.</p>
<p>Doctor Chakwas stood up and grabbed one of Sam's hands to shake. "Pleasure to finally meet you, Samantha."</p>
<p>"What?" Sam looked between the two women, totally confused. Needless to say, they weren't of much help because they had doubled over with laughter again. This called for drastic measures. She rounded on Shepard and drew herself upright. "Jane Shepard! You are going to tell me what this is all about right this moment or so help me."</p>
<p>Shepard actually dropped her head and shoulders. "Sorry. But she started it."</p>
<p>"I don't care <em>who</em> started it, I'm ending it. Now, what is this all about?"</p>
<p>"Well, you know I had calls from Admirals Anderson and Hackett?" Sam nodded. Shepard went back to the bed and sat on it again before continuing her explanation. Chakwas also sat back down in her chair. "Anderson wants me to introduce you properly to him and Hackett wants to come to our wedding."</p>
<p>Sam blinked stupidly. "I- I beg your pardon?"</p>
<p>"Yep. And the doc yelled at Hackett on my behalf like a mama bear. But I suspect you already knew that. So, one thing led to another and well… Here we are." Shepard shrugged gesturing around.</p>
<p>Sam walked over to Shepard and grabbed the glass next to her with a bit of brandy still in it. She knocked back the liquid before turning to face the other two again. "One big, crazy, dysfunctional family, I guess." She smirked.</p>
<p>"Glad you're catching on, Traynor." Shepard threw her arm around Sam.</p>
<p>Chakwas raised her glass in a toast. "I'll drink to that."</p>
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